Kicking It Old School

Late 1990s.

During a conversation, mom gene-spliced two famous rappers:

Mom: "Who's this Puffy Dog?"
Me: "Do you mean Sean 'Puffy' Combs or Snoop Doggy Dog?
Mom: I don't know.
Me: Neither do I.

My Kingdom for a Fortress of Solitude

Late 1970s/Early 1980s.

When I was growing up, Wonder Woman was all the rage. Every little girl (and big girl) wanted to be Linda Carter. 

When I was a kid, merchandising wasn't nearly as hardcore as it is today -- but there were a few must-have items you just couldn't live without. For me, it was the Wonder Woman bathing suit. It was the real deal -- looked just like the costume Linda Carter wore on the show (well, without the giant D-sized cups). It came with gold cuffs, and I'm pretty sure there was also a lasso -- though I could be embellishing on my memory. Plus, it even had the option of waterproof boots. That's where my mom drew the line.

My mother wouldn’t buy me the boots because she said I’d “slip in the pool.” 

So what if I was going to “slip in the pool;" where was I really gonna go? What kind of damage was I gonna do? It wasn't like I was gonna get hurt or anything. Now, if she had said: "You’ll run around after getting out of the pool and slip on the deck," then I could have agreed... 

I still want those boots.


 
For argument's sake, I also couldn’t have the following:

• A Lite Brite: "Too many little pieces."
• A Big Wheel: "You'll break your head open."
• A pogo stick: See Big Wheel
• A trampoline: See Big Wheel and pogo stick
• A Slip N Slide: "You'll slip and fall and break your ass."

"Watch your ass." - WEAR IT!

Introducing the YOU HADDA BE THERE Merchandise Store at Zazzle.com. 

New merchandise is being added on a frequent basis, so please bookmark us and visit often!


Wear the t-shirt inspired by the "Well-meant Advice" Post:

"Watch your ass." Tshirts from Zazzle.com

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Watch Out for the Crazies - STICK IT!

Introducing the YOU HADDA BE THERE Merchandise Store at Zazzle.com. 

New merchandise is being added on a frequent basis, so please bookmark us and visit often!

Grab the magnet inspired by the "Watch Out for the Crazies" post:

Watch out for the crazies. magnets from Zazzle.com

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Don't Let Your Meat Loaf - WEAR IT!

Introducing the YOU HADDA BE THERE Merchandise Store at Zazzle.com. 

New merchandise is being added on a frequent basis, so please bookmark us and visit often!

Wear the t-shirt inspired by the "Meatloaf" post.

Don't let your meat loaf. t shirts from Zazzle.com

+

Watch Out for the Crazies -- WEAR IT!

Introducing the YOU HADDA BE THERE Merchandise Store at Zazzle.com. 

New merchandise is being added on a frequent basis, so please bookmark us and visit often!

Wear the t-shirt inspired by the "Watch Out for the Crazies" post:

Watch out for the crazies shirt from Zazzle.com

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The Stiller/Lewis Connection

April 2010.

Many a conversation with Mom goes like this:

Mom: I was looking through your Entertainment Weekly and saw a picture of that guy whose father is on that show...
Me: What show?
Mom: You know. The one with the funny father.
Me: Mom. What show...?
Mom: You know the one... It’s on channel 9.
Me: King of Queens?
Mom: Yeah, his son.
Me: Ben Stiller. Right.
Mom: What happened to him? He looks terrible now.
Me: Yeah, he let himself go.
Mom: He looks like Larry’s friend.
Me: Larry’s friend?
Mom: Yeah, you know. Larry’s friend on his show.
Me: Mom!
Mom: Oh, you know... The one who’s always complaining!
Me: Oh, Larry David.
Mom: Yeah, his friend.
Me: Richard Lewis.
Mom: Yeah.
Me: Yeah, he kinda does look Richard Lewis.

The Wizard of Weird

Today.

For some reason, I was talking with my mom about how I had to miss a Tori Amos concert because I had to recover from surgery. To relate, and make me feel better, she said:

"Oh, I know how you feel; I missed Judy Garland because my dress was too tight."

Feel free to ponder, discuss and ruminate. I sure am.

Well-meant advice

Countless times, and for many reasons, my mother has told me to:

"Watch my ass."

The meaning of this: To be careful.

Of course, if I watched my ass, there's no telling what amount of trouble I'd get into. But, God love her, she means well.