My Kingdom for a Fortress of Solitude

Late 1970s/Early 1980s.

When I was growing up, Wonder Woman was all the rage. Every little girl (and big girl) wanted to be Linda Carter. 

When I was a kid, merchandising wasn't nearly as hardcore as it is today -- but there were a few must-have items you just couldn't live without. For me, it was the Wonder Woman bathing suit. It was the real deal -- looked just like the costume Linda Carter wore on the show (well, without the giant D-sized cups). It came with gold cuffs, and I'm pretty sure there was also a lasso -- though I could be embellishing on my memory. Plus, it even had the option of waterproof boots. That's where my mom drew the line.

My mother wouldn’t buy me the boots because she said I’d “slip in the pool.” 

So what if I was going to “slip in the pool;" where was I really gonna go? What kind of damage was I gonna do? It wasn't like I was gonna get hurt or anything. Now, if she had said: "You’ll run around after getting out of the pool and slip on the deck," then I could have agreed... 

I still want those boots.


 
For argument's sake, I also couldn’t have the following:

• A Lite Brite: "Too many little pieces."
• A Big Wheel: "You'll break your head open."
• A pogo stick: See Big Wheel
• A trampoline: See Big Wheel and pogo stick
• A Slip N Slide: "You'll slip and fall and break your ass."