Cell Phone

I don't know what it is about cell phone owners over a certain age; they just don't think they need to keep them on. They tend to feel that they only need to turn it on when they need to use it. Never mind that fact that someone (like me) may be trying to reach them. And, sure, I could leave a voice mail...that's if the cell phone owner actually knew how to retrieve said voice mail. But I digress...

On numerous occasions, I've received phone calls from my dad or mom's cell phone. However, they're unaware they've called me. I'll usually hear some kind of rustling (cluing me in to the fact that the cell phone is located in a jacket pocket or a handbag) or a distant conversation between my parents (usually in a moving car).

One day, at work, I received such a phone call during which I overheard a lot of mumbling.

Me: Hello? Ma!!! Can you hear me??? Dad???

Mom and dad just continued to talk in the background, totally unaware I was on the end of the line. So I just stayed on the line a moment longer and waited, in case they realized the phone was engaged. In the background, the conversation became clearer.

Mom: Harry -- I'll get the door. [car door slams, keys jingle, front door opens.] Oh, no! Harry -- the cat threw up!
Harry: What? Oh no... Is it food?
Mom: No, it looks like cat grass.
Harry: Then it was Dino, not Cosmo.

I realized at this point, they were never going to notice the cell phone was on. So, I hung up and called the house number.

Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey... Everything OK?
Mom: Yeah, why? What's wrong?
Me: I don't know -- I got this weird feeling that Dino threw up or something.
Mom: [gasps] Oh, my God! He did! How did you know that?
Me: Because your cell phone dialed me again and I overheard the whole thing.
Mom: Oh, this is crazy. [aside] Harry -- the cell phone keeps dialing Nicole. [to me] Maybe I should remove your number.
Me: How is that going to solve anything?
Mom: So it won't dial you anymore.

It's hard to argue with that kind of logic.