Oh, Tannenbaum

Late 1980s.

Dad decided to cut down the blue spruce in the backyard and use it for our Christmas tree. Tree trimmed and lit -- no problem. Until it occurred to us, that in the years the tree stood in the yard it may have acquired more than a few inhabitants of the insect variety.

Dad's solution: spray the tree down with bug killer. Except the bug killer reeked to high-heaven and what we ended up with was a Raid/pine-scented mess.

Dad's solution #2: spray the tree with perfume. Naturally, you can see where this is going...

The next day, my brother's friend walks into the house and exclaims:

"Jeez! It smells like a French whore in here!"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.